Yes, You Can

There I stood, at the door of my childhood home. But … I had heard you can never go home again. What was I to do as I stood contemplating my next steps?

I stared at the door beckoning me. Was it inviting me in to experience the often sad times or was it inviting me in anew? I needed assurance there would be no flashbacks. 

As I reviewed my life, I realized that the love I felt inside that home was still there if I entered it as my new self. I could not enter as the little girl looking to be parented. I could not walk in backwards. The grown up me could bring her inner child along but only as a chance to create the new energy carried within. 

Slowly I turned the knob on the door and stepped into the living room. Same furniture – different me. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table hurrying to rise to greet me. 

Sit down, Mom – let me make you something to drink. We sat as I stared into her crystal blue eyes – so much hurt contained within. As we spoke of mundane ordinary things I saw the hurt soften and the joy of feeling loved appear. 

Hey Mom – it has been said “you can never go home again” … not true. Oh – but it is. You can return as a version of yourself to serve and love the inside of that house. Is it actually a house? – no.  A house is wood and brick – this was a home. A home is love, mistakes, hurt, grace and forgiveness. It is the human spirit. 

How lovely to share a cup of coffee with this woman that was only given a screwdriver to build a home. Her tools were miniscule to parent as she had no template from which to refer. 

As I sat with her the love and joy welled up in my soul. You gave me to the world, Mom. You loved me the only way you knew how and that love propelled me into a deeper understanding of what love is. Flawed and yet Divine. Falling down and getting up again. 
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Rewriting my childhood within these walls would be futile. I opened my soul to experience it all. Only then could I truly know the heart of a parent.
 

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Sharon Chambers

Sharon is an evolving spirit, seeking truth and offering same in return. A soul of deeply caring energy, ready to share with open hearts. A flawed yet healing human, Mother, Grandmother, and Friend. Excited for each new day, looking forward on her path to share love and light.

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